Oh my darling Clementine

So first off, this movie is based on a screenplay, which is based on an account, which is based on a “biography.” This film is closer to Kevin Bacon than it is to Wyatt Earp. Secondly, clothes, really, why? Was the wardrobe team from ‘Gone with the Wind’ having a garage sale? Thirdly, what is Wyatt Earp doing running cattle on a cheap Chisholm Trail knockoff through Monument Valley? I was honestly expecting every trope in the book, but was surprised to find that there was no Hooker With a Heart of Gold, although that was probably because there weren’t any actual hookers, just a lounge singer in a bad stereotype they called a sombrero sticking her leg on a table once.

Glory, Hallelujah!

I did have a battle today, that wasn’t bull****. It was against the Southern secessionists. Now, I’m not Southern, I don’t plan on being Southern, so who gives a crap if they’re secessionist? They could be fascist anarchists for all I care, it still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t own a horse.

Oh Fiddle dee dee!

There is a quitting time for working in the fields?

Rhett Butler—best timing ever!

Let me save my parrot as I flee Atlanta!

Rhett…why did you have to break my heart and join the army? At the most random time ever?

Insert happy cheery rainbow

And the clouds part ever so perfectly

I’m just going to run up to the house, let me leave the woman that just had a baby and the baby in the buggie….brb

Love that the overlay starts on the fire

Seriously who does Ashley love? I would have punched him in the face by now….

Never have I seen a woman that can manipulate men better than Scarlet… I tip my hat to her

So all of her fake husbands are killed? More drama that way?

Every time that you think she has grown, she just turns out to be an immature child

This love story is worse than a Midsummer’s Night Dream!

Are we going to kill everyone off?

We had to sit through a 4 hour movie that depicts the Civil War from start to finish, just for her to learn a lesson and she can’t even keep her man?!?!?!!!

“It’s the mist from your dreams child!!!” (said in the voice of Grandmother Willow)